Make 'em laugh... or at least shake their heads in disapproval

It is with great pleasure that I can announce that after many years of development, the first webisode in my sketch comedy series "And Several Butchers' Aprons" is complete!

Sure it is only one episode, but with the others not far away, I am happy to tick this one off my list :)

STATUS: 5/40 = 12.5%

Can't believe this didn't make the list!

I think it's safe to say that I am a geek - between wanting a deLorean/TARDIS and hoping to stay at the Sidi Driss Hotel in Tunisia, there isn't much in geekdom that I am not a fan of. That said, I have never been so big of a fan to own a Starfleet uniform, speak Klingon or to cosplay as The Doctor... but that was before I had heard of the 501st. I forget when and where I first found out about the 501st, all I know it was years ago and I remember thinking "that would be cool - if only I had a costume"

The best thing about the 501st is that it's not just about nerds getting together to complain about the screen accuracy of each other's 'uniforms' - they do a lot of charity work which I think is great. Even still, actually join gin them seemed a tad bit extreme as I wouldn't say I was that big of a Star Wars fan. Don't get me wrong, when I was in primary school, I breathed Star Wars - my best friend and I used to quiz each other on dialogue from the films. Once the 1990's came around, my enthusiasm for the original trilogy began to diminish. By the time the Special Editions were hitting cinemas, I reached a point where I couldn't be bothered seeing them on the big screen.

With the 3 disappointing prequels came one major plus - my enthusiasm for Star Wars had been rekindled. Suddenly everyone was a Star Wars fan despite hating what George Lucas had dished up. I think he has been unfairly picked on to the point where he has been bullied out of making movies. And now, with Disney now owning LucasFilm and promising a new trilogy of films to be released, I am once again excited about the franchise. Even so, I still wouldn't consider myself a big enough nerd to buy a costume. As such, when I came to make up my 40 Before 40 list, owning a Star Wars costume didn't cross my mind.

Less than a month ago, my wife and I welcomed our son into the world. Unfortunately he has some medical issues which required him to spend a week in the NICU nursery. The staff there were fantastic and made as feel like it was our second home. So when I saw on TV that the local 501st had raised a lot of money for the children's hospital, I felt so proud of them. So much so that I want to get a costume and join them.

The obvious question is just which costume do I want to own and wear. Watching the local garrison of the 501st I couldn't help but notice the huge number of stormtroopers. I mean if I was at a gathering with them, I would forget who was under which helmet! Not wanting to blend into anonymity, I have decided that the costume for me is the biker scout.

Featured in "Return Of The Jedi", the biker scouts are seen running around on the forest moon of Endor, being out smarted by ewoks... sigh. Their obvious stupidity aside (seriously, wearing bright white in the jungle?) I have always like the look of their uniform over that of the puffy checked stormtroopers.

So with a costume choice made, it is now time to actually purchase it. Not wanting to rush into it, I have started by buying the gloves for the huge price of $19.95 - settle down there big spender! Never the less, it is official - I am on the road to becoming a biker scout!

Christmas Wish List

With Christmas just around the corner and with several other people already talking about what they would like to get, I thought I may as well start my own Christmas wish list.

When I first saw The Daddy Saddle I couldn't help but giggle, but once I got past that initial reaction, I thought that this would actually be kind of cool. I have no idea if this is a hoax or a real item, or how much they are worth, but if they aren't too expensive, this would be a good one for either me or Squishy :)

The Frontline DVD Boxset would be great as this is a classic Australian TV series that satirises TV news - it is funny because it is so true! I enjoyed the show when I first watched it but since having now worked in that industry, I believe that the funniness level will be higher than ever! It would also be good because it would mean I get to cross number 28 of my 40 list - two birds with one DVD boxset...

These vintage Star Wars Blueprints are only $6 on eBay (plus postage) and would be a great, nopt only because it is a vintage collectable, but because I have a fascination with blueprints and science fiction design. Plus, Squishy loves all things robot orientated and droid blueprints would be just what I need to build a full scale (inert) R2-D2!
UPDATE: RECEIVED FOR CHRISTMAS 2012

I have always wanted a remote controlled Dalek and not just to terrorise the cat! These are super cool and fit in nicely with Squishy's robot themed nursery - yes, I know that Daleks aren't robots, but try telling that to Lesterton! Of course any other Doctor Who robot-esque item would be cool (think K-9), and there are numerous Doctor Who DVDs out there that I would love to fill in a couple of gaps in my collection, but you would need to check which ones those are. Otherwise really cool Doctor Who merchandise would be great, but it has to be really awesome - I have enough coffee cups!

I would really love a working super 8 camera like the Canon 1014 so I can film on actual film, as apposed to digitally. Sure, some might say that the 1014 XLS is a better camera as far as function goes, but as far as nice looking pieces of equipment go, I think the XLS looks like an ugly black plastic box. I have a couple of super 8 cameras already but I can't get them working (a wiring problem perhaps). However, if someone is looking at this list and has a bit more money that they want to splash my way, then a nice 16mm Bolex would be fantastic... although I have no idea where I would find 16mm film...

A lot of people don't like giving gift vouchers because they think it can be interpreted as "I couldn't be bothered thinking of what to get you so I just got you a voucher" but I interpret it as "I don't want to get you a lame present like glow in the dark stickers so here is a voucher for you to get yourself something you really want". Amazon is probably the best place but I would be just as happy with either Collins Booksellers or JB Hifi. I don't think Think Geek do vouchers... but if they did, I would be getting this quality item!

Are there other things that I would like... probably but I can't think of them off the top of my head... I know how difficult it can be trying to think of the perfect gift for someone, so I hope that this list has helped anyone who is trying to find something for the geek who has everything.

Back on task...

With the road trip posts out of the way, lets get back on task and start working on the 40 before 40.

6. Work with a "wow" celebrity
Last week I kind of got to work with Australian legend Brian Brown (as well as his wife Rachel Ward and his daughter Matilda). While I got to work with him, he would have no memory of working with me and so I guess I need to expand this goal to include working with a big name celebrity that is internationally known and have them remember the experience. That said, if I don't get to achieve this goal any other way, then this will count! :)

7. Make a sketch comedy series
I have been working heaps lately so the editing on this has slowed down a bit but hopefully we will get back in to it very very soon. At the very least I am going to try and get another preview sketch online. Don't know which one though... too many good ones to pick between...

USA road trip complete

Obviously we made it back to Australia safe and sound and with a rather straight forward final leg of flight back to Perth. It was such a fun trip and one we will remember for a long long time. We enjoyed it so much that we seriously considered relocating to the States on a permanent basis, looking into houses for sale and how we could legally immigrate there. Basically without a million dollars or a US based company prepared to offer one of us work, it just wasn't going to happen. I guess we will just have to go back there for another holiday one day...

I had set the goal as part of my 40 before 40 to keep this blog up to date and I think posting every entry from the road trip kind of qualifies but I still have another 5 years to cross of everything else off my list and keep this blog up to date in the process.

USA Day 67 - Auckland International Airport

Total States Visited: 47
Where Are We Sleeping Tonight: Perth, Western Australia

On the plane trip from LA I managed to spend a lot of the time watching the inflight entertainment system - Suckerpunch, Morning Glory, Unstopable, Toast, Rio, the entire first season of Episodes. I did manage to squeeze in some sleep though... somewhere...

 

In Auckland we had to go through another baggage scan to enter the departure lounge, despite having gone through one in LA before boarding. They found our bottle of maple strip that I had forgotten about and LA somehow missed! Good to see LAX security are doing their job so well! I so don't see the point of the 100ml law - it is stupid and clear doesn't work, and as Penn & Teller mentioned in their show, will not stop terrorists from doing something destructive. Much like Clare being stopped from entering the club in Chicago, the purpose of the law has been forgotten and now innocent people are being unfairly punished. I wish there was a way that I could get my point across to people who matter, namely those people who have the power to change those laws. Hopefully I will have calmed down by the time we board the plane for our 7 hour flight to Perth!

We had Burger king for lunch (at 9am) and Clare said the drink straws were funny because they are skinny. Ihad to point out that they are normal sized straws and that we had sadly become accustomed to the large sized gulping straws we got everywhere in the USA. What an effect 2 months of total emersion in the American culture has had.

USA Day 66 - somewhere in the Twilight Zone

Total States Visited: 47
Where Are We Sleeping Tonight: Nowhere!

As we flew West, crossing over the International date-line means we totally missed out on having a 21st of August... I know we technically had two days of the 17th of June, so it all works out even in the end.

USA Day 65 - All good things...

Total States Visited: 47
Where Are We Sleeping Tonight: Air New Zealand flight somewhere over the Pacific Ocean

Having packed last night means that all we had to do this morning was load all of our crap in the car. I don't think either Clare or I slept overly well, concerned with 11 bags at LAX being both cumbersome and expensive. After the obligatory Denny's breakfast, we spent a couple of hours driving on the 101 before encountering LA traffic - they were just as bad as I remember them! The speed limit was 65 miles an hour, I was doing 75 miles an hour and they were still speeding past me!

After driving on the 405, we stopped at a red light and before I could wonder how much further the airport was, an Air Canada plane thundered overhead - for a split second, I thought it was going to crash! We unloaded our bags at Terminal 2 (we filled two carts and still had more bags!) then Clare returned the red beast to the car hire company... it kind of felt like saying goodbye to an old friend. While I waited for Clare to return on the courtesy bus, I was entertained by countless travellers who were confused by the concept that you have to pay $5 to get a baggage carry. No Matter how much they pushed and pulled without success, they still couldn't figure it out. Clare returned and said that the car rental company didn't bat an eyelid at how dirty the car was or the fact that it had done 15,000 miles!

 

Venturing into LAX with enough bags to sink a battleship, we went up to the baggage check in. The Air New Zealand lady was nice and friendly an with our 5 suitcases all piled up on the scales, the total weight came in at 110kg! The lady had to look up how much to charge us in excess and Clare says the lady did us a dealing only charged us $215! It would have cost that much to post that box though all those weeks ago... good thing we didn't post it after all.

After the world's quickest Immigration check (I still can't believe we have officially left the USA) we went through the body scanner - oooh! Our carry on luggage set off the alarm though because we had packed some snow globes we had bought and they contained too much liquid - how stupid! The security guy was nice about it though and he genuinely felt bad that we had to check the bag in (at least we got away without having to pay excess on it)

We had some so-so nachos at a Highway 66 themed restaurant before settling in at gate 28 to await our flight amidst passengers awaiting their Air France flight to Paris. Wouldn't it be horrible if we got on the wrong plane and ended up in Paris... Clare is writing the last of the postcards we wanted to send but apparently there is nowhere in the entire LAX airport where you can buy stamps, nor are there any post boxes to post them. It's probably some stupid security thing...

USA Day 64 - Santa Barbara

Total States Visited: 47
Where Are We Sleeping Tonight: Days Inn Windmill Buellton, California

We drove down to Santa Barbara today to checkout the city where the TV show Psych is set. The city looks just like it does in the show, despite the fact that the film it in Canada! The Mediterranean architecture is quite amazing to see as it almost feels out of place here. After a quick walk around we drove to the nearest Goodwill charity store where we donated all of our camping stuff. It was good to get it out of the car - the car hasn't been this empty since before we started our road trip. After diving all our stuff to Goowill, we had a look through the store where I bought a super 8 camera for $1 - I wonder if it works... As we were about to leave the store, they wheeled in our cooler that we just donate with a $20 price sticker. It was a little sad seeing our cooler for sale - it was OUR cooler just a couple of minutes ago. Fighting the urge to buy it back, we left the store quickly before we broke down into tears. I think that the idea that this trip must come to an end is actually starting to hit us.

 

Driving down to the coast, we parked the car in a carpark and started walking along the beach. As we did, we encountered a hippy van with a difference - it was covered in toys! If you can think of a toy, it was on this van somewhere. The guy even had various pieces of computer equipment hidden amongst it all. The van was cool but I can imagine it would cause some accidents while it is driving!

 

Exploring the Snata Barbara Pier, we were a little disappointed that it was nothing like the Santa Monica Pier. We found an expensive gift shop where we bought a couple of things for family back home, including a great tshirt for my brother. We did see a great sign that informs people not to dive off the pier into the sand - they must have some dumb people here if they need that sign! Back on land, we saw a mexican restaurant where we wanted to have lunch. At El Torito we shared a Fiesta platter that was wonderful but made us think of the Mexican Kitchen back home and how we will have to eat there when we get back.

       

Driving back to our hotel, we drove through the town of Solvang which reminded me a little of Hahndorf in South Australia. We found a shop where we bought a luggage set which should hopefully be enough to enable us to pack everything that we want to take home with us.

 

We drove around Buellton trying to decide what we were going to have for dinner. We ending up choosing China Panda Restaurant. The food was really nice and the staff were very friendly. The Manager was surprised to find out that we were from Australia. He kept asking if we liked the food and wanted to know how it compared to Chinese food in Australia. I kind of got a feeling that he thought we had more authentic Chinese food back home...

Back at the hotel, we started packing everything we had in our suitcases and carry on bags. We very quickly realised that we still didn't have enough bags so we jumped in the car and went looking for the nearest store that would sell suitcases. The first place we went to didn't have any big suitcases (just carry on size) and then the next place was closed. We ended up finding a 24 hour WalMart about an hours drive from our hotel! We found a mega suitcase but we were concerned as to how much our stuff was going to weigh so we wanted to get some scales as well. The only problem is our allowed baggage weight is in kilograms and all the scales here measure in stones! We bought a cheap cheap set of scales and hoped that we will be able to find a conversion online when we get back to the hotel. We were up late packing all of our stuff but we managed to get it all done. Phew! As for weight, all we know is that we are over but we don't know how much that they will charge us tomorrow...

USA Day 63 - Hearst Castle

Total States Visited: 47
Where Are We Sleeping Tonight: Days Inn Windmill Buellton, California

Heading North to San Simeon, we stopped in the town of Cambria for lunch. With Linn's looking like it is very popular, we decided to give it a go and boy am I glad we did. With an omelette named after me (sort of), how could I not order it, especially as it sounded delicious - and it indeed it was! After a wonderful desert, we had a quick stroll around the town and found a store that sold rubber ducks - hundreds of them. They were all different sorts and so we bought some for some friends back home. We paid a visit to Antiques On Main where we bought a couple of bulk rolls of 35mm film - we will have fun with this when we get home :)

 

Continuing on our way, we arrived at Hearst Castle, former home of media mogul William Randolph Hearst. Ever since I saw the movie RKO 281, I have been dying to visit here. Hearst named it "La Cuesta Encantada" ("The Enchanted Hill"), but usually called it "the ranch". Although he was a bit of a hoarder, he was surrounded by art and most amazingly, architecture from all over the world. He had a habit of buying old churches which he would then have demolished so he could puts bits of them in his home!

 
 
 

After seeing the intimidating main reception room which was full of enormous tapestries, we entered the dinning room. Mr. Hearst and his architect Julia Morgan named it the Refectory, the term for a monastery dining hall. The high windows, bright silk banners, and gleaming silver candlesticks convey the atmosphere of a church from the middle ages - the ceiling is actually made from wooden walls taken from a monastery! Seeing the mustard and ketchup bottles sitting on the long table reveals that Hearst liked the simple things as well. The 24 seater table has seen so many famous people through history sitting at this table. Hearst himself sat in the middle (rather than at the head of the table) and he would have the guests he liked most sit near him. If you were seated at the ends of the table, he kind of had enough of you.

     

Guests of Mr Hearst who had been invited to stay at the property could play both billiards and pool in this impressive game room, which is also decorated with gaming themes. The 15th-century Spanish ceiling is painted with scenes of courtly life, including bullfighting and jousting. However due to years smoking in the room, guests would never have actually been able to see the design as it was cover in nicotine tar! They have been slowly cleaning the ceiling with cotton wool buds in an attempt to return it to its original glory. Walking by the Flemish hunting scene tapestry from the 1500s, we walked over to the theatre - now this is a home cinema! Hearst and his companion, Hollywood film star Marion Davies, joined the house guests every night at 11 p.m. for a full-length movie, preceded by a newsreel. Playing on the screen for us was a short film showing historic footage of the Castle’s talented architect Julia Morgan, Hearst and Marion Davies themselves, and many of their celebrated house guests—all having a wonderful time on the Enchanted Hill. No imagination is needed to see how much fun one could have here.

 

Enjoying a stroll through the gardens where several guests houses are located, we found the two pools on the property. The first, the Neptune Pool, is an outside pool that would have been lovely to jump in right now as it is a bit warm today. Taking 8 years to build, this Roman inspired pool would have felt at home in Ancient Rome. The main reason for this probably has to do with the original Roman marble features that Hearst bought for use in the pool. The second pool, the heated indoor Roman Pool, is decorated heavily with 24 karat gold! Hearst definitely had a taste for the lavish and the dramatic and this building (containing several full sized tennis courts on the roof) definitely highlights that fact.

 

When Mr. Hearst left his dream home for the last time in 1947, Marion Davies tried to console him saying, “We’ll come back. W.R. You’ll see.” Apparently tears rolled down his face as they drove down the hill for the final time. Due to the remote nature of the castle, they had to leave so Hearst could get medical attention. Sadly Hearst died on August 14, 1951 having never returned to his Enchanted Hill.

Back on the road again, and heading South this time, driving through Morro Bay again, we continued on to Arroyo Grande. We were trying to decide what we wanted to have for dinner when we heard a radio commercial for the Quarterdeck Seafood Restaurant. As it sounded like a nice place to eat, we decided to give them a try. Surrounded by kitsch decor, two plates of very brown food were delivered to our table. We enjoyed the food but as we have eaten so much seafood at wonderful places, the food here had no chance of winning an award for our favourite place to eat. Clare did enjoy a frozen margarita though.

 

We continued driving towards Santa Barbara but as we arrived in Buellton, we decided to stop here rather than spend another hour in the car. Besides, the Days Inn here has a dutch windmill!

We decided that we will stay here tonight and tomorrow night so we unloaded everything out of the car so we can pack it properly. We loaded it all on the king size bed - oh my god! We have bought so much stuff!! After a quick look at everything we have we have decided that we will need to buy an extra suitcase tomorrow. We will have fun when we get home opening everything - it will be like Christmas!